Day 29: Mortality

Last night I dreamed I went to the doctor for a checkup and found out I was in the advanced stages of a terminal disease, with only weeks to live. Granddaughter Ember was in the room and I gazed at her with overwhelming grief that I wouldn’t get to see her grow up and I wouldn’t be there for her. I decided not to tell anyone, friends or family, about my condition. When I asked the doctor for more information, he dismissed me.  It’s no big deal, he said. People die of this all the time. I woke up before figuring out how to make the most of my remaining time. In my real life, this is a daily challenge.

Golden-ish Retriever

This afternoon my good friend Michael had to be in the neighborhood for an essential errand, and afterwards we got to talk outside, six feet apart, for a while. It was grand. We discussed what I’ve said here ad nauseum: how lucky we are to have roofs over our heads, food on our tables, and health. But that still doesn’t stop me from whining about my situation. I miss my friends. And it’s almost unbearable how much I miss my family, especially the little ones who don’t understand much about why we don’t get to see each other.

2 comments

  1. Well, I am enormously glad that was a dream and not reality. Yeeeesh. Don’t do that!

    As I have already said, I LOVE that dog drawing. One of your best!

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