Jan 16 2020

Phantoms, Jesters & Elephants

Published by at 6:43 am under Quotations, Malapropisms & More

I’ve been saving up a bunch more malapropisms and other silly quotes and keeping them on a “Sticky” on my laptop. Now it’s time to immortalize them on Bloggy.

My mother, name of “Small,” has sent me a few that she’s stumbled upon:

  •  “Let’s hope that it is not a case of sore grapes.” —Scottish broadcaster Alan Brazil
  • “I resent your insinuendos!” —Mayor Richard Daley

There was the woman who, without qualifications, skill or humor, taught an art class at the Albany Community Center. She offered to come to my house to teach Ember marbling, saying her willingness to do so was “a jester of goodwill.” [I also payed her.]

Then there’s Cheryl, who (as we’ve seen before on this blog) is creative with her metaphors:

  • “I’m gonna put my butt where my mouth is.”
  • “I’m unloading [letting off] steam.”

My former student from China, Stanley, wrote to me about another kid in my class: “He was the oversize guy.”

From a National Park Foundation ad on Facebook: “Your thirst for adventure will only be exasperated by scrolling through the winners of our 2017 Share the Experience photo contest—consider yourself warned!”

In a post on Nextdoor, someone was looking for a venue that served “hors devours.” 

Here are some others:

  • “Iran has an elephant on its back.” —Interviewee on BBC World News
  • Amazon review: “This is very good hiking/walking pants in blistery Boston winter.”
  • “Maybe if you could expunge it a little more, I could understand.” —Bernie McGee, star of polygamy reality show, Seeking Sister Wife.
  • “People were running around with their heads cut off.” —Washington Post interviewee

And then there are these, which I have gathered like winter wheat:

  • “I thought he was shrinking his duty.”
  • “That was the jest of it.”
  • “He was all gun-ho.”
  • “I cannot phantom how they get a huge fire like that controlled.”
  • “It was tax invasion.”
  • “Oh, to be a spider on the wall listening to them.”

That’s it for now.

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