Mar 30 2011

Doctor, Dear Doctor

Published by at 6:53 pm under Family,Friends,Teaching

“Here’s to you, doctor.”

That’s what I heard on my radio as I drove home from work yesterday. Oh, shut up about doctors, I yelled at the speakers.

But they didn’t listen. You wouldn’t believe what the syrup-voiced woman said next.

“You fix broken bones. You mend broken hearts.”

I shrieked. There is no doubt the ad was designed for the singular purpose of torturing me, and it was working.

“All those 14-hour shifts, all those years of schooling, all that vending machine coffee. You’re our heroes. You’re our doctors.”

And then the crowning blow:

“Live long, and thrive.”

The very experience shaved several years off my life. Thanks, Kaiser.

I finished my third day of teaching at Ohlone. Small class, sweet students. Today I launched into the structure of a simple sentence. Subjects, verbs. Piece of cake. I was wheeling through the grammatical skies with grace and ease. Particles: no problem. Adjectives? Easy. Full of the confidence that comes from deep knowledge, I pranced into direct and indirect objects. I asked the students to describe the difference. They couldn’t.

I froze. I couldn’t either. A direct object is, like, ‘I’m holding my squirrel.’ And indirect object is… um… Let’s talk about this another day.

My little baby was in a very good mood when I got home after a nasty 1.5 hours of rush-hour traffic. I put her on my bed and glanced away. When I turned back, she was nowhere to be seen:

She stayed that way for the longest time, arms and legs happily thrashing. And then:

3 responses so far

3 Responses to “Doctor, Dear Doctor”

  1. Bulwinkle says:

    That kid looks like a Sumo wrestler in those pics.

  2. M says:

    I’ve had a number of classes full of native English speakers where half the class couldn’t identify a direct object vs. indirect object either. So y’all aren’t too bad off. At least you didn’t go near ditransitives!

    My baby is so cute.

    “Wormo (Singh”

  3. Anna says:

    I cannot tell you how much I enjoy the latest updates in your life. It is not fair that your life be so lively compared to some others.
    I think Ember should wait a bit before her first tattoo.

    I just love you !!

    “the Jolly green GIANT”

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