You Ain’t Nuthin’ but a Groundhog

Don’t you hate when you’re trying to summon a word and all you can remember is its ending? Makes it hard to look up. “It’s something –ity.” I wonder if there exists a word reference for people with backwards brains like mine.

I love this picture so much that I’m naming an entire post after it.

Coincidentally, I just got an e-mail from Small, in which she refers to the groundhog as a whistlepig. I’d forgotten that word. Needless to say, I immediately went online to see if the domain name is still available. It’s not. I am bitter. I would have been the perfect caretaker for whistlepig.com. I would have laid it, well-polished, next to my others. Would you like to know what a few of those others are? Well, okay:

• baldyhairy.com
• bloodredrobe.com
• danceswithpigs.com
• deadrodentwalking.com
• doorofdeath.com
• ginnathemovie.com
• highway5150.com
• homeplacemedia.com
• pigopolis.com
• rainbowfur.com
• ratproblem.com
• rollinghillsmedia.com
• softshoemedia.com

Molly just sent me this next photo. Almost every MAT41 but I can curl his/her tongue. But this? It just ain’t fair.

I talked to Eleni on the phone today. She was kind enough to listen as I unleashed both venom about school and nectar about my friends here who have been my only mooring to sanity in the last several weeks. I told her about something that still surprises me: that people here generally think of me as someone who ‘doesn’t take any shit.’

“Well, wasn’t that one of your goals: not to be so much of a pussy?” she asked delicately. Recalling my recent row with faculty here, she continued, “I mean, everyone knows you don’t fuck with Ginna’s dreams.” Ah, my little dewy petal of a child… the embodiment of innocence. Who but she could begin a letter to her ole grandma with these words: “Shitsy-witsy!”