Hallelujah, I’m afraid. Hallelujah, terrified.

So it’s official: I have been admitted to SIT Graduate Institute in Brattleboro, Vermont. I found out the day before yesterday. Numbness from shock has become worry and then excitement and then anxiety about all I have to do before I go and then panic that I’m insane to be doing this and then happiness that I am and then… From morning to night I think, Will I be able to rent my house in time? How will I manage to pack everything into storage? What should I bring? Will I find a nice place to live in Brattleboro? Will I have time to see my friends before I go? Should I drive across the country, or fly? How will I get Stella and luggage and everything to and from the airport? Where do I get doggie drugs for flights? Can I have some? Will I be able to succeed academically with the very intense workload? Why am I doing this? Will I be able to stay sane or will I tank midway?

Today I had breakfast with Adi & Michael. We looked on a map of New England to see where I’ll be, where her mother is, where their friends are. —I wonder if I’m in the snow belt up there, I mused. Adi pointed to the map. —See those little drawings of guys on skis? I did. They surround the campus.

Anna & Adi say I should take snow shoes. This will be … different.

3 comments

  1. CONGRATULATIONS!! i’m so happy to hear the news!! so i guess i need to book another flight to see you sometime… i suppose you will be gone by the time i get back.

    oh. yes, yes, yes, yes and yes. you will figure everything out. it will all fall into place… somehow 🙂

    i’m really excited for you!!

    lots of hot sticky kisses from labuanbajo, flores ~

    jill

  2. Hi, Jill. Great to hear you’re still alive and sweaty. Yes, you absolutely must come visit. Oleg: I appreciate your words of reassurance more than you realize, though I’m practically inconsolable at the moment at the prospect of leaving my current life and my friends.

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